


Squid Fight (prompt challenge from  Ineffable husbands-Fanfictions Reader and Writer- AO3 on facebook) ILLUSTRATED

by GayDemonicDisaster (scrapheapchallenge)



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Crowley Being an Idiot (Good Omens), Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), Ineffable Idiots (Good Omens), Octopi & Squid, Snake Crowley (Good Omens), Snakes, Tentacles, crackfic, good omens - Freeform, squidfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-03-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:27:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22980220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scrapheapchallenge/pseuds/GayDemonicDisaster
Summary: From the weekly prompt on the groupIneffable husbands-Fanfictions Reader and Writer- AO3on facebook. The prompt was this:Aziraphale, watching the news:“Crowley, have you heard? Somebody tried to fight a squid in the local aquarium!”Crowley, covered in ink:“Well maybe the squid was being a dick."NEW!Quefish did a (very) drunk reading of this (and "Gabriel and the Sofa of Sin") one after the other on youtube, go watch! I set the video link to start at the beginning of this fic but feel free to watch it all:CLICK HERE
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 66
Kudos: 227
Collections: Week 3: Squid Fight





	Squid Fight (prompt challenge from  Ineffable husbands-Fanfictions Reader and Writer- AO3 on facebook) ILLUSTRATED

**Author's Note:**

> Click here for [ Squid Fight art by Sabine on Tumblr.](https://ineffables-against.tumblr.com/post/614281270516662272/what-is-it-another-fanfic-doodle-request-from)

Crowley stared at the sea snakes.

The sea snakes stared back. One wriggled suggestively at him. Crowley raised an eyebrow.

“Uh, hi guys, sorry I’m late, anyway, what’s up?”

The banded sea krait surfaced and regarded him with interest. “He’ssss being a basssstard again, Crowley.” It hissed, in a language that only Crowley could understand.

Crowley sat down next to the tank and sighed. “Again, Carl?”

Carl nodded and wriggled closer to where Crowley sat.

“What’s up with Daria? She flirted with me just then.”

Carl shrugged, which isn’t easy to do when you don’t have any shoulderblades, but he managed it anyway. “She’sss alwaysss fancied you, Crowley.”

The demon sighed. “I’m not even the same shape right now. How can she fancy this?”

Carl sniggered in his own sibilant fashion. “Come on, Crowley, you know you’re hot in any ssshape, mate.”

Crowley tipped his head in acknowledgement. “Hm. Suppose so. Anyway, what’s the bugger been doing this time?”

“He’sss sssiphoning again. Figured out how to jet water at the new digital control panel on the wall that controlsss the temperature in our tank. Keepsss turning the thermossstat down ssso we get cold, he’s a basssstard.”

“Can’t you guys just work this out between you?”

Carl shook his head. “He won’t talk to usss. Just keeps trolling usss. Ever sssince we got upgraded to the new tank and he’sss ssstill in his old one. He thinksss he should have got the new tank.”

“But there’s more of you. There’s only one of him.” Crowley observed.

“Yesss, but he doessssn’t care, he’sss an arsssehole.”

“Right.” Crowley stood up and stalked along to the squid tank a few feet down the hall. He stared at Steven inside. Steven rippled his colour changing cells at Crowley and made a rude gesture with his tentacles. Crowley growled.

He sauntered along to a door that said “staff only” and waved a hand to unlock it, looked both ways to check the coast was clear, and slunk in.

A few moments later there was a rather splashy commotion.

A little while after that, a family came through the aquarium, and noticed a rather wet trail of footprints leaving the “staff only” door, leading to the exit. It was also rather inky.

The family group stared into the squid tank.

Steven the squid had a large pink dildo tied to his carapace. The coloured pebbles in the base of his tank had been rearranged to spell out “I AM A DICKHEAD”

Crowley stood in the car park and stared down at himself, dripping ink on the ground.

“Worth it.”

  
Illustrated by Sabine on [ Tumblr](https://ineffables-against.tumblr.com/post/614281270516662272/what-is-it-another-fanfic-doodle-request-from)


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